PLUS: Boris's double date
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The Times and Sunday Times
Thursday February 15 2018
Red Box
Matt Chorley
By Matt Chorley
Good morning,
Theresa May has given up crisps for Lent again, but dozens of Tory MPs are going further. They have agreed to give up plastic until Easter, including bottles, coffee cups, cutlery, and wrapped fruit and veg.

So if you see Michael Gove, Greg Clark, James Cleverly, Thérèse Coffey, Andrea Leadsom, Matt Hancock, Alan Mak or any other Tory MP with a disposable coffee cup or bottle of Evian over the next 40 days and 40 nights, you know what to do... Get in touch: redbox@thetimes.co.uk
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Matt Chorley
Red Box Editor
Twitter icon @MattChorley
 
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  • In 1997 Robert Mugabe’s thugs burst into his tenth-floor office in Harare and tried to push him out of the window. He was saved by his secretary’s screams, but left lying in a pool of blood. It was one of countless incidents of brutality endured by Morgan Tsvangirai, who has died at the age of 65. As The Times obituary reflects, he had plenty of human frailties but he did not lack courage.
How the Tories can avoid ridicule
Typical BBC bias, always knocking the Tories with their jokes about Brexit and Boris.

Well Nish Kumar, host of the Mash Report, has a solution to that: "People always say why don't you do jokes about Labour," he tells the Red Box podcast. "But Labour are not really doing much at the moment. We feed off the news.

"The reality is the Conservatives are in power. If you want people us to stop making jokes about you, I would advise losing more elections. Being in opposition is a really good way to avoid being made fun of."

The Mash Report has quietly become the first successful effort by one of the main channels to copy the hugely successful American fake news satirical shows such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. (Matt Forde's Unspun on Dave has been flying the flag for some time.)

It has all the same elements: monologues from behind a desk, fake news headlines, correspondents and a live studio audience. In the past couple of weeks it has really found its voice, and a confidence that previous shows have lacked.

Crucially it also has a big writing team, something that British shows have tended to shy away from, preferring whole series to come from one or two people - which can work fine for a sitcom but a topical show needs a lot of people writing a lot of words all at once.

Brexit inevitably dominates. For Kumar the result, and the feelings it has stirred up since, is personal. The night after the referendum result he played a gig in central London. "I was playing the Comedy Store, which has an important symbolic value – it's where alternative comedy developed in the 1980s.

"This bloke shouted at me to go home. In the aftermath of the referendum there was the spike in hate crime. There has been a legitimisation of certain views that I think we had previously considered outdated. I see that online too."

While he is outspoken about Brexit, he is aware of the need for balance. Geoff Norcott, the conservative, leave-voting comic, is a regular. A short run of the show in the summer meant they got all of the easy Donald Trump gags out of their system and are now working harder harder for laughs.

"Everybody knows Donald Trump speaks like an idiot," says Kumar. "My mother knows that. She could do a five minute monologue about Trump speaking like an idiot. So we are trying to add value."

This can mean tackling topics which might not always seem laugh a minute: corporation tax, the BBC gender pay row, and trade deals. A couple of weeks ago Kumar did five minutes on the European Reform Group, the shadowy group of Tory backbenchers led by Jacob Rees-Mogg, which is niche even for my taste. "We have been told that the [Brexit] is a great returning of power to people and a victory against unaccountable elites, and yet Jacob Rees-Mogg and a secret society are meeting to decide the policy."

Social media has changed the comedy too. On Twitter, everyone is a comedian (well, apart from the egg-headed trolls) so a TV show has to offer more.

The writing team is borne out of the Daily Mash website, which has perfected the art of quick-turnaround satire (recent headlines include "People boycotting Peter Rabbit 'should probably avoid' Watership Down" and "‘Look at me! I’m picking a fight!’ says May").

The show, which originated online, has become a slow hit on BBC2 but has a second life on the internet, with segments going viral every week.

One of the most powerful was a guide to how not to sexual harass someone by Rachel Parris, the stand-out star of the series playing a dead-behind-the-eyes autocutie giving inane presentations in front of a vast video screen. Kumar calls her "the smiling assassin".

The harassment clip has been watched on Facebook 26 million times. It is sharply observed, but also contains a personal truth that hits home. Another short news item – "Women tell everyone to just f*ck off" – has had 38 million views.

And then there's Piers Morgan. The TV presenter went nuclear over a Parris sketch mocking his interview with Donald Trump, which included a cartoon of Morgan with his head up the US president's backside. Actually the whole item was very funny, and Morgan's "you wouldn't do that for two women" complaint only brought it to more people's attention.

Kumar insists there are no subjects off limits. "It's about making it funny. Can you find something funny in something that's inherently disturbing or something that's incredibly boring? And if you can, often that's the most rewarding stuff.

"It's a comedy show first. That's the big lesson from somebody like Jon Stewart or John Oliver, and Chris Morris and Armando Iannucci. They never lose the funny."

It's still early days for this series to be ranked alongside those comedy greats, but make your own mind up tonight. BBC Two, 10pm.
Thursday's best comment
David Aaronovitch
Can any of us believe a word Johnson says?
David Aaronovitch – The Times
Jenni Russell
The march of progress can go into reverse
Jenni Russell – The Times
Deborah Ross
I’m sick to death of #metoo, feminism and all the talk of groping
Deborah Ross – The Times
A key Brexit opportunity is now in danger
Nick Timothy - The Daily Telegraph
Unless charities like Oxfam rediscover their moral core, they won’t survive
Larry Elliott - The Guardian
Today's cartoon from The Times by Peter Brookes
    Doing a deal over dinner
    Theresa May will seek to broker a cabinet deal on Britain’s future trade relationship with the European Union over dinner at Chequers a week today, after Boris Johnson softened his stance.

    Johnson said yesterday that he would support the UK aligning its regulations with the rest of the EU in some areas – including washing machines, hairdryers and vacuum cleaners – even after the two-year transition period following Brexit.
    Quitter not a fighter?
    Both Buzzfeed and The Sun pick up on Boris Johnson refusing to rule out quitting before the end of the year. "We’re all very lucky to serve," was all he would say.
     
    The Sketch
    Boris Johnson the Brexit lothario dashing between Valentine’s dates
    Matt Chorley
    Matt Chorley
    Boris Johnson is your classic Valentine’s Day cheat: double booked for dinner, he spends the evening darting between two dates, trying to keep both happy at once while pretending to enjoy two meals. Having your dinner and eating it.

    Westminster’s favourite lothario ruffled his hair and began trying to woo his Remain date who was talking about leaving him, for Canada. He understands, he really does. “I recognise that feeling of grief and alienation.” But before the drinks order had even been taken, he left them, dashing across the restaurant to speak to his Brexiteer beau.
    Read the full sketch >
     
    Red Box: Comment
    Frances O'Grady
    A bad Brexit would threaten workers’ hard‑earned rights
    Frances O'Grady – TUC general secretary
    Balls, business and Brexit
    Ed Balls publishes details of a Harvard survey he has conducted which shows British businesses want to stay in the customs union and the single market after Brexit. Read the full story

    Scotland’s economy risks emerging “very badly” from Brexit unless negotiations over its fisheries are prioritised, the celebrity chef Michel Roux Jr has warned. Read the full story
     
    Red Box: Comment
    Alastair Campbell
    Just as Brexiteers should not deny that Remainers love the UK, nor do I imagine that they all hate Europe
    Alastair Campbell – Former Downing Street communications director
    Irish troubles
    When Theresa May went to Northern Ireland on Monday it was seen as a sign that a deal to restore Stormont was on the cards.

    It seems the opposite may have been true. Arlene Foster, the DUP leader, first dubbed the visit a distraction and then last night announced abruptly that there was “no prospect” of her party rejoining an executive with Sinn Fein, calling for the government to impose rule from Westminster.

    Karen Bradley, the new-ish Northern Ireland secretary tasked with breaking the deadlock, will give a statement to the Commons on Tuesday but is not likely to heed Foster’s call to impose direct rule.

    It's fine though: it's not like the DUP have the Tories' majority in their hands, or that Northern Ireland is the most contentious issue in the Brexit conundrum or anything.
    Read the full story >
    Picture of the day
    Ruth Davidson, the Scottish Conservative leader, being given training on how to find, excavate and remove landmines by staff of the HALO Trust charity during her visit to Kabul, Afghanistan.
    Corbyn's Czech mate
    A bold splash in The Sun reports that Jeremy Corbyn met a communist spy at the height of the Cold War and warned him of a clampdown by British intelligence.

    The Labour leader was reportedly vetted by Czech agents in 1986 and met one at least three times — twice in the Commons. A spokesman Corbyn says he met a diplomat, but never knowingly talked to a spy.
    Read the full story >
    Oxfam crisis deepens
    The problems continue to mount for Oxfam. Last night the charity admitted that Damien Berrendorf, the man who replaced Roland van Hauwermeiren, Oxfam’s disgraced country director in Haiti, was accused of inappropriate behaviour before being dismissed for mismanagement last year. It raises further concerns about a lack of transparency at the charity and piles pressure on its chief executive, Mark Goldring.
    Red Box: Comment
    Sir Bill Cash
    There are laws against what Oxfam did: I know because I drafted them
    Sir Bill Cash – Conservative MP
    Chart of the day
    Rees-Mogg vs Soubry
    There is a battle for the soul of the Tory party: who really speaks for the members?

    Both Jacob Rees-Mogg and Anna Soubry claim to be the true voice of the Conservatives, but which of them comes out on top?

    There is only one way to find out: FIIIIIGGGHHHHTTTT!!!!

    Or just a fascinating article by Noah Carl, who looks at what Tory MPs and voters actually think and concludes there is only one true representative of Conservative thinking. Find out who here
    No rift, but no deal
    Gavin Williamson, the defence secretary, yesterday denied any rift with the United States over the fate of two captured Londoners suspected of being part of an Islamic State cell that beheaded hostages in Syria.

    Although it is not clear there is any agreement either.
    Read the full story >
    End of the peer show
    Theresa May has delayed plans to stuff the Lords with new Tories, The Sun reports, pointing to research that shows overwhelming opposition to more peerages.
    Man dies near parliament
    A man who is believed to have been sleeping rough has died in the shadow of the Houses of Parliament.

    Police were called to Westminster tube station yesterday, where a man was "unresponsive" near one of the underground entrances to parliament. Jeremy Corbyn has left a handwritten card, saying: "This should never have happened. As a country we must stop walking by." The story makes the splash in Metro.
    Around the world
    Jacob Zuma resigned as president of South Africa last night
    SOUTH AFRICA: A bitter Jacob Zuma quit as South Africa’s president last night, ending a two-week power struggle with his successor Cyril Ramaphosa that has paralysed the country’s politics and threatened long-term damage to the ruling African National Congress party. Read the full story

    USA: The gunman who used an assault rifle to shoot dead at least 17 people at a Florida high school yesterday was said to be a former student. Read the full story

    FRANCE: President Macron
    has begun an overhaul of the baccalauréat, the cherished school-leavers’ examination in France. Read the full story

    ISRAEL: Binyamin Netanyahu accused the Israeli police of bias after they recommended that he be indicted on two charges of receiving bribes. Read the full story
    Also in the news
    • MAX MOSLEY: Ex-F1 boss begins legal bid to limit free speech (The Times)

    • TOP COP: Chief of force that failed Scottish crash victims gets Met job (The Times)

    • PAY DAY: Vice-chancellors attend their own pay committees (The Times)

    • BLAME GAME: Lawyers face cap on costs in NHS negligence cases (The Times)

    • BETS OFF: Watchdog bans Ray Winstone 'bet now' adverts during live matches
      (The Times)

    • 'OVERWHELMED' A&E: Ministers ‘complicit’ in woman’s overdose death (The Times)

    • CHILDCARE CHAOS: Sturgeon’s free childcare policy is damned by official auditors (The Times)

    • HIJAB WARNING: Ministers too 'politically correct' to enforce hijab policy in schools, former Ofsted boss warns (The Daily Telegraph)
    TMS
    From the diary
    By Grant Tucker
    Fabricant's fabrics
    Michael Fabricant, the Tory MP for Lichfield, has sent us a dispatch from his fact-finding mission in Washington DC. “The Oval Office was much smaller than I thought,” he writes. “And it really could have benefited from some John Lewis soft furnishings.”
    Read more from the TMS diary >
     
    What the papers say
    The Times
    "The traditions and liberties of a vibrant free press occasionally leave bruises but they serve the common good, and they cannot be taken for granted." Read the full article

    The Guardian
    "Mr Johnson is sometimes funny and he is clever, both useful attributes for a journalist but not nearly enough to make him even a half-way competent foreign secretary. After a series of missteps, he looks increasingly ill at ease in the public eye. On Wednesday even his jokes fell flat. He has been rumbled." Read the full article

    Financial Times
    "Mr Johnson seems to favour compromise in the general, not in the specific. This was the most withered of olive branches." Read the full article

    The Daily Telegraph
    "This is the right message - it's just a pity that it has taken so long for the Government to articulate it. Mr Johnson's talents as an ambassador for Brexit have been under-used. Theresa May should send him out to sing for his supper more often." Read the full article

    The Sun
    "That's how you do it! Boris Johnson laid out the exciting case for a truly global Britain yesterday. And we need more of Boris’s tub-thumping enthusiasm from other members of the Cabinet, who too often treat our exit like a problem to be managed rather than an opportunity to be seized." Read the full article

    Daily Mail
    "After months in which gloom-mongers have been allowed to make the running, this paper hopes Mr Johnson's speech will mark the start of a concerted government drive to accentuate the positive."

    Daily Mirror
    "Johnson did flick the V-sign yesterday - at those who wanted more details about the consequences of Brexit. If the foreign secretary is too idle to take Brexit seriously then there is no reason why we should take seriously anything he says."

    Daily Express
    "Many who voted Leave in the EU referendum 18 months ago are unwilling to make their beliefs plain in public knowing that they will often face contempt and abuse from Remainers. The issue has proved extremely divisive, causing rifts among families, friends and colleagues."
    Agenda
    Today
    • Philip Hammond, the chancellor, visits Spain
    • The work and pensions committee releases a report on the British Steel pensions scheme, calling for urgent action to be taken to tackle what it describes as 'another major misselling scandal'.
    • Nicky Morgan, chairwoman of the Treasury select committee, writes letter to firms in the financial services industry that are yet to sign up to the Women in Finance Charter.
    • 10am: Andy Burnham, mayor of Greater Manchester, gives a speech on rough sleeping
    • 8.30pm: Carwyn Jones, first minister of Wales, takes part in an Oxford Union debate titled 'This House Believes Westminster's Concerns Do Not Extend Beyond The Home Counties'.
    Houses of Parliament
    • Both houses are on recess until Tuesday February 20
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